Article from Love and Logic

Have you noticed that more and more kids are having difficulty figuring things out for themselves? Could it be they’re being robbed of the opportunity to do so?
 
A mom I know has helped with registration at the local high school for the past ten years. This year she saw a whole new breed of parents. Rather than the kids signing themselves up, the parents were making all of the decisions.
 
When the students were being assigned lockers, one dad who was there to “help” his son insisted that he, the dad, did not like the location of the assigned locker. When the son said he thought it was fine, the dad turned to him and said, “Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
 
This was just one of the many things this mom witnessed. She went home exhausted, and very sad: sad for a generation of kids who are being robbed of the opportunity to figure things out for themselves, and sad for our country.
 
When parents do all the thinking, they rob kids of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and send the message that the kids are not capable of figuring things out for themselves. Give your kids the can-do message: Let them do the thinking. When they learn from their mistakes, they build character, strength, and confidence.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jim Fay

 

Another Interesting Article from Love and Logic

Mike was scared. He had a daughter who was about to turn sixteen. As if that wasn’t scary enough, Mike’s daughter, Angela, was excited to get her driver’s license and go cruising around the city with her friends.
 
To top it all off, Mike was quite certain his beloved Angela would not be a safe driver. She seemed totally focused on the fun aspect of driving and not on the responsibility. She spent lots of time texting and little time paying attention to the lessons of the road he tried to teach her. Despite his recommendations, she had saved up zero money toward the privilege.
 
What can parents do when they have teens in the house who are eager to drive but are not demonstrating readiness for this important responsibility?
 
For these situations, we really like the phrase:
 
“I’m happy to allow you the privilege of driving when I see you being responsible in other areas of life.”
 
Families get to decide what being responsible looks like in terms of chores, grades, finances, and other responsibilities kids might handle.
 
Of course, if we make this statement, we must follow through and delay the privilege until we truly see improvement in the areas of concern (particularly with youth who cannot stay off their phones at important times).
 
Please don’t fall for the myth that kids should automatically be afforded full driving privileges the day they turn sixteen, whether they have put time into saving and learning or not. We believe lives will be saved if adults refuse to make driving free and expect teens to display responsible behavior firstversus handing over keys and hoping they will be responsible behind the wheel.
 
Wise parents who are willing to delay the process for kids who aren’t ready will make the roads safer for everyone.
 
If you would like some more help with this issue, check out our audio on Teens and Driving.
 
Jim Fay - BiographyThanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Jedd Hafer